I have already discussed positive reinforcement in my home and my gold ticket system. I've been using the tickets now for just over a week and I have to say that I'm unexpectedly pleased with the results, but not for the reasons that I began this system in the first place.
I wanted to reinforce good behaviors in an effort to curb all those "bad" behaviors that were trying my patience. All those behaviors that most 3.5 year olds display every now and again but wear on us even if they are normal (does anyone notice that it never matters what our children do, it is still considered some variation of normal?). Has it helped? To be honest, I'm not really sure. But something even better has happened.
I started to notice all the great things about my son. Don't get me wrong, I have always thought that he was a pretty cool kid but when you're in the midst of the 3rd tantrum of the day over how the crust on the bottom of the pizza looks, it is difficult to keep things in perspective. Handing out these tickets gave me a reason to be on the look-out for things he does right and he does a whole lot of awesome stuff as it turns out.
He's really good at playing with his sister, for example. I always get hung up on him putting his hands on her and running and jumping around her too much because I'm afraid he will hurt her but all week long, I kept noticing how he made her laugh and played chase with her and let me know if she was about to put something in her mouth that she shouldn't.
One more fabulous thing about my child is that he likes cleaning up. If I ask him to pick up his toy room, he does it. By himself. Until every single toy is picked up off the floor and put into the toybox. Most days, that's more than I can say for my husband (sorry T - it doesn't count as cleaning the kitchen if there are still dishes in the sink :P ). He even sings his own little pick up, clean up song to himself. Not only is he cleaning, but he is cheerfully doing so. I definitely don't sound cheery while I'm cleaning.
There is something else totally unexpected happening here too. After about day 4, my son started awarding ME gold tickets out of his own pile. I cut him up an apple and he awarded me a ticket, saying, "Mom, thank you for getting me a snack. I appreciate it. Here, you earned a gold ticket!" I've also earned a ticket for taking care of his sister and for helping him get dressed. Can you believe it? I have my kid appreciating me for doing things for him. He is so sincere and doesn't mind at all that he has fewer tickets at the end of each day, which is just crazy. The rewards don't matter to him. He only wants to have a pile of gold tickets to remind him that I think he's done well at something and to hand out to his mom and dad at his discretion.
This has all turned out to be a nice little exercise in appreciating one another in spite of all our flaws. I'm so happy that he loved being recognized so much that he modeled it back to me exactly to show me how nice it feels.
No comments:
Post a Comment