I'm not even going to post a "round up" for this last week because Jack and I had a sort of battle of wits so my patience was worn just a touch too thin to put on the patient awesome teacher hat. And I was tired. That never seems like a legitimate excuse for things but really, I was so tired I caught a bug and I'm just now feeling better.
So all the nothing we did this week reminded me of how important it is to understand that the times when you aren't *doing* something are just as valuable as the times that we are cramming activity after activity down their throats. School and more school then homework and dance class. Soccer, music, spanish, and even structuring the play at home into "educational" activities. The school year is in full swing now and it is hard to resist the urge to put my son in something because that is what people do with their children when they reach a certain age.
As I complained to my friend over the epic showdown we'd had over a cup of juice earlier that day, she calmly explained that it was because he was just too bored with me. I got defensive and started naming off all the things he'd done that week without me but realized that we are just on two different planes. She, and most others of our generation, believe that children must be dropped off somewhere for a structured activity, for which we must then excuse ourselves for the duration of, in order that they don't become bored and therefore stagnant in their development.
I disagree. And I'm not alone.
Play is so important to optimal child development that it has been recognized by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child, or so says a 2006 paper published by the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you haven't read it, you definitely should check it out.
Yet we are increasingly paranoid about our very young children (ages 3 and 4) falling behind academically and constantly finding ways to put more stuff on their shoulders. A mother once commented to me that her 3 year old was trying to get out of doing extra academic work at home by saying that she was "so tired." This 3 year old goes to school from 8:30 - 2:30 pm Monday through Friday and attends 2 dance classes per week.
And then there is Jack. We spend probably 8 hours a week on structured school activities and he goes to gymnastics once a week. It sure does sound like he could be bored compared to his friends, who all have structured activities away from home for nearly 40 hours a week.
Sometimes he says "I don't know what to do" which is I think the same thing for him and I direct him into an activity. However, most of the time, he is really busy. Too busy to eat and sleep actually. He is building towers and robots and setting traps for monsters. He is pretending to be a garbage man or drawing himself a story. He grabs a few things from the toy box and heads outside to play for hours in the dirt. I hear him making up his own songs and singing them on stage at a rock concert. We talk endlessly about topics that have endless "Why's" and he has time to fit the information into his worldview. They aren't the games I would choose nor does he construct things the way that they *should* be but all his inventions are his own. He is absolutely NOT bored and he is NOT getting behind by "missing out" on soccer or school.
And I have absolute faith in him that these things he is pretending and building with household items are teaching him what he needs to be resourceful and hardworking. He relies on no one for entertainment. He needs no toys. Experts are now saying that boredom is GOOD for children and that unstructured time is just the thing.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I am giving him a gift here. The gift of time. He has time to explore the world and himself without anyone or anything telling him how to do it.
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